My brother, nine years older, once said to me. "Boy, when we were growing up, it was so all-American, apple pie and Mom." I looked at him as if he were nuts. That was not my experience of childhood or of my mother. A friend, I've long forgotten who, once told me that my mother was "not very motherly." I think she meant it as a compliment. I certainly took it as one.
My mother was a housewife and mother from 1938 to 1971. I don't think she minded the mother thing but she was never into the housewife part. At least as long as I knew her. One of my fondest memories is coming home and finding her sitting in the living room with the woman who came to clean our house -- eating snacks and watching soap operas together. I gave one of my characters a mother like mine - a woman who not only didn't like to perform housecleaning, she didn't want to witness it.
Recently, I came upon photos of my parents with my brother and sister doing kid activities. Again, not my experience. Ask me about my collection of drink umbrellas.
The secret of my friendship with my mother is not that she did kiddie activities with me. I did adult activities with her. I was her buddy, her pal for excursions to get her out of the house and away from any related chores.
The lifestyle my mother and I shared was supported by the weekly allowance she received allegedly for the household. From that, she was expected to feed a family of five. Which she did. Every week she would make a list, call a gentleman named Mr. Rossman and read it to him. She would then unlock the back door and, within hours, a carton of groceries would appear like magic on our kitchen counter. The bulk of her allowance went to Mr. Rossman. She stashed the rest away for outings, some just local, but often day trips from our home in Philadelphia to New York.
She took me on shopping trips and to Broadway shows but, in the early days of television, she soon discovered that TV shows offered free entertainment. She had to cover train fare, taxis, meals and entertainment with what she could save from the food budget. There was nothing you could do about train and taxi rates, and meals with her were never a bargain, so I guess she tried to economize on entertainment. As television grew, she was in. Television audiences paid nothing.
My first free, in-person experience of a TV show was actually in Philadelphia at Action in the Afternoon. Our local CBS affiliate built a small western town behind their studios and every weekday afternoon broadcast a live western. I have no recollection of seeing it on television but I recall a visit to the set with my mother. A cowboy crouched beside me, lowering himself to my level to be nice but I buried my head in my mother's big, wide, 1950s skirt. My mother, however, did not let my reticence deter her. Having exhausted Philadelphia's television resources, we were off to New York.
In the early days, the Today Show might have had a window where you could watch the live broadcast, but no way my mother and I would have been up and in New York in time for that. The show did, however, offer one oddity. They had a camera and a monitor set somewhere in the wall or window of 30 Rock where you could see yourself on television even when the show wasn't on. I vaguely remember my mother taking me there. I don't recall seeing myself but I do remember the black and white screen and people's amazement at seeing themselves on it. My mother would have had to lift me so I could see myself, but I am sure she did. It's the kind of treat she would have wanted me to experience. In those days, seeing yourself on a screen was not commonplace.
The earliest clear, albeit brief, memory I have of traveling with my mother is having lunch or tea at the Palm Court in the New York Plaza. I suspect I was about four because I remember wearing a fancy dress for our trip and feeling too small for my chair. I recall the excitement of seeing the actress, Ann Southern, at a nearby table. Aside from that cowboy from our local station, I don't recall any previous in-person sighting of someone from my TV screen. Ann Southern did not disappoint. She was every inch the star with a mink coat draped over the back of her chair. I think that may have been the same day my mother took me to see The Big Payoff an early television quiz show. I can envision where we sat but I can't figure out how she got me in there. Maybe there was a time when there was no age restriction for TV audiences or maybe she told them if there was an age limitation they should have put it on the ticket. I have an odd feeling it might have been the latter.
As I got older, my mother included my friends in these trips. I remember bits and pieces. I recall getting interviewed to try out for Password (my friend, Debbie, got an invitation) but not seeing the show. I have no idea who the celebrity guests were. I guess after the excitement with Ann Southern I had gotten pretty blasé. I know there had to be other shows, but I have no idea what they were. Maybe watching the Game Show Network would conjure a few memories.
When the proliferation of talk shows hit the airwaves my mother latched onto two. The Merv Griffin Show and the Dick Cavett Show. These shows, especially Cavett, had incredible guests. I wonder who they were. Even when I can pinpoint the week I went to Cavett and look at the guest lists, I just cannot remember. I must have carried the blasé thing too far.
An aside: I know we saw Sonny and Cher somewhere. Not sure if Cavett or Griffin. They were not yet the megastars they became in the early 1970s. My mother became a huge fan but died before they hit it really, really big.
My mother had her fifteen minutes of fame on the Merv Griffin Show. She wasn't seeking it. We'd gone with a friend of mine and her mother. The show decided to play a prank on an audience member. I hate pranks and the one that day was particularly unfunny. I would say that even if they had not played the trick on my mother. They told her that her seat (on the aisle in the balcony) was reserved but she was welcome to sit on the steps to watch the show. I know. Hilarious, eh? I have tried to locate the clip because it shows not only that she was a good sport but that she was gracious about the whole episode. I would have advised the "comedy" writers to find other work.
NOTE: You had a very sad experience at the Merv Griffin Show. A comedian bombed. Deservedly but still it was sad to see. I remember he turned to Merv and said, "Help me, Merv. I'm dying here." The flop sweat was visible. On the way out I heard his mother explaining, "They just didn't understand him." I never remembered his name, so I don't know if he ever pulled himself together, got new material and succeeded. He had a lot of work to do.
My mother watched television at home too. Needed to avoid that housework! So, she knew when The Mike Douglas Show was moving to Philadelphia. She got tickets for the first day and we ended up in the first row. I had to look up that the show featured Vic Damone, Vivian Vance and John Gavin. I only remember John Gavin because by then I was a teenager and he was very handsome. (I think Sheldon Leonard may have been on too, but my Google search showed Sheldon Lewis. Since he had been dead for several years by that time, I am ruling him out. That I would remember.)
Years later my sister said that she always knew when my mother was planning a trip to New York because we would be eating hot dogs for a week. That wasn't true. I don't think my mother ever ate a hot dog in her life. I understood my sister's point but I think she was looking at things from the wrong angle. Yes, my mother's food allowance supported our adventures but expensive Broadway shows would have limited the menu. But not television. Television helped my family eat better.
No comments:
Post a Comment